sharing love

time to bring back memories again. today one year ago it was mine, earth´s [my thai brother during my student exchage year] and moo´s [another exchange student from thailand as well as a sweet friend of mine] high school graduation party. the three of us had it together and it was fun.

[i miss you SO much]

don´t get me wrong every time i talk about how much i miss my american pals and family. i love what i have here in estonia. my family is my world. did i already mention how much i love them? with all my heart. i have my best friends who i can´t imagine my life without. i have my own room, my own stuff, my ideas and thoughts. i have everything i need. i love being at home so so much. i love to laugh with my mom. my sisters are precious. my brother is a difficult person but it is possible to even miss him while he is in finland working. i love having late night family dinners. late night family pizza parties are even better! trampoline adventures with the siblings are the best [late at night of course!]

but then there is this other thing that i can´t stop thinking of. port huron. it is where i spent the most wonderful year of my life so far. i already have mentioned all of this, but seriously... you can tell that i am one sad girl because i can´t be there. i just can´t forget about all the amazing people that i have made friends with over there. and my family, oh jeez, i love them so much! the banker family is the kindest, sweetest and the most beautiful american family i´ve ever had. we had disagreements while my stay. there were tears. there was laughter [lots of it!]. there were many adventures. but many things were left unsaid, undone. and that is why i want to go back. i want to do all the things that i didn´t do. i want to say the things that i should have said but never did. i want to fix some mistakes. i just want to see them again.

my love for both families is equal. i can´t choose one over another. you would think my first choice would be the biological family, wouldn´t you? nope, you are mistaken. you just have no idea of how much the banker family has taught me. they seriously have changed me into a better person. they made me love my real family. get it now?

so here i am in this awesome situation. "why awesome, don´t you cry over not being able to see your american family, sandra?" whell.. it is awesome because i at least have someone to miss and i wouldn´t trade that feeling for anything.

think about what you have. think again. think harder. 

now be thankful.