the distance is a pain in the trunk

it is time to start blogging. i have been blogging for a while already, but for other reasons. for keeping my family and friends updated during my year away from home. they needed to know how i was doing. blogging, for me, is like keeping a journal. only it seems to be taking too much effort to keep a real one going as often as i would like to. this here is a quick way to do it. my real journal has been and will be kept along with this one, too, but in another language and less often.. if that is how you say it. interesting.

so.. where was i? this past year has made me think of how important it is to make the best out of every moment. i entered this whole different world that i had never been to before. i got used to it, i got accepted, i met many new personalities, i had the greatest time. and then one day i just had to wave good bye to all of it. it was hard. i cried. i still haven´t gotten over. i have been having a hard time with myself and everything around me. despite all that i will be fine. i just need time. life here goes on, but i am a year slower than everyone else. one year is a long time. people get close. i have two sets of everything now, but i can not have them both at the same time. that´s what makes it hard. everyone knows that talking to people through the wonderful world of the internet is not the same as being able to see them.. go out with them, touch them, talk to them. in real. yes, the distance is a pain in the trunk. yet, memories are the best thing to take back with you from whereever you go.

now that it has been over a month already, i am finally beginning to settle down. i have been extremely quiet lately. i think it is because my overloaded thoughts wont let me say them out loud. good. i have learned that many things need to be unsaid. the less you say the smarter you look, right? well, i do not want to look smart, but i just do not feel the need to say everything out loud anymore. is this a sign of growing up? i hope not. i think there is no need to rush with that.

i have become someone i never thought i would. i have become an artist. at least in some ways. this is the side i have discovered in me. yes, there still is a long way to go, but at least i had a good start.

i have plans. big plans. but i can´t say them out loud yet. all i know is that i am not going to let myself sit   around and do nothing. you will hear if you are here.